Every white elephant has one gift that ruins a friendship for about 40 minutes. Last year it was a heated blanket. The year before, a fancy bottle of hot sauce that got stolen three times and frozen in the hands of someone who doesn’t eat spicy food.
That’s the point, obviously. Below are the white elephant rules you can explain in one minute, the house rules that keep the stealing fun instead of personal, and five gift exchange games for when your group has done plain white elephant every December since 2015.
In this guide, you’ll find:
White elephant rules in one minute
- Everyone brings one wrapped gift under the agreed budget and puts it in the pile.
- Everyone draws a number. A hat, a bowl, a Santa hat if you’re committed.
- Number 1 opens a gift from the pile and shows it to the room.
- Every next player chooses: open a new gift from the pile, or steal one that’s already been opened.
- If your gift gets stolen, you pick again. Open a new one or steal from someone else.
- The game ends when the last gift in the pile is opened.
That’s it. The opening is quick. The steals are where the time (and the friendships) go.
Why “white elephant”? The usual story is that the kings of Siam gave sacred white elephants to courtiers they didn’t like, who were then ruined by the cost of keeping them. Historians call it a legend: there’s no record of a king actually doing it. The party, though, is real. White elephant parties start showing up on American society pages around 1908.
The house rules to announce before anyone steals
There’s no official rulebook, which is exactly why the fights happen. Say these out loud before number 1 stands up:
- The steal cap. Two steals is the most common, three is popular too. After the last steal, the gift is frozen and stays with whoever holds it. In a 2019 Harris Poll for Wish, people voted three as the ideal cap.
- No steal-backs. If your gift was just taken, you can’t take it straight back in the same turn. Go bother someone else.
- Number 1 gets the last word. Number 1 never got to steal, so when the last gift is opened, they can swap with anyone, frozen gifts excepted. It’s a common variant and it makes drawing number 1 feel less like a punishment.
- Open it where everyone can see. Half the fun is the face when a grown adult unwraps a singing fish.
- A budget, said as a number. “Nothing crazy” means $5 to one person and $80 to another. In that same Harris Poll, $25 got the most votes.
At work, add one more: nothing you wouldn’t want to explain to HR, and no gag gifts about anyone’s age, weight or dating life. Cheeky is great. Awkward kills the room.
White elephant vs Yankee swap vs Dirty Santa vs Secret Santa
Same December, different names, and two very different games.
| Name | Where you’ll hear it | How it works | Usual budget |
|---|---|---|---|
| White elephant | Across the US | Draw numbers, open or steal | $25 is the favorite |
| Yankee swap | New England | The same stealing game. Gifts tend to be more practical | Same |
| Dirty Santa | The South | The same stealing game | Same |
| Secret Santa | US and UK offices | Everyone draws one name in secret and buys a gift for that person. No stealing | About £12 on average in the UK |
| Kris Kringle | Australia | Australia’s name for Secret Santa | A$16 to A$20 on average |
| Pollyanna | Pennsylvania and around | Another regional name for the Secret Santa name draw | Whatever the family agrees |
So if your Australian colleague says “Kris Kringle” and your boss from Boston says “Yankee swap”, they’re talking about two different games, and somebody should clear that up before the budget email goes out.
5 gift exchange games to mix it up
Plain white elephant is great once. If your group has done it every year, swap in one of these. Each one keeps the gifts and changes who controls the chaos.
1. White elephant with dice
All the gifts go in the middle, nobody gets a number, and the die decides everything. There’s no standard key, so tape yours to the table before the first roll. Ours:
| Roll | What happens |
|---|---|
| 6 | Take a gift from the pile (one each, for now) |
| 5 | Roll again |
| 4 | Unwrap the gift in front of you |
| 3 | Swap gifts with anyone |
| 2 | Everyone passes their gift right |
| 1 | Everyone passes their gift left |
When the pile is empty, set a 10-minute timer and keep rolling, with one change: a 6 now steals any gift you want. When the timer rings, you keep what’s in front of you. Two dice going around at once halves the waiting, and with more than ten people you’ll need that.
Best for: groups of 6 to 20 who find number draws too polite.
2. The left right Christmas game
Everyone sits in a circle holding a wrapped gift. One person reads a story out loud, and every time the story says left, everyone passes their gift to the left. Every time it says right, to the right. When the story ends, you keep whatever’s in your hands. Zero strategy, maximum yelling.
Here’s one written for the office party. Read it slowly, and lean on every LEFT and RIGHT:
Linda LEFT the house RIGHT on time for the office Christmas party, which had never happened before. She’d wrapped her gift RIGHT down to the bow, and only LEFT the price tag on a tiny bit.
At the door, Dave from IT said, “You’re RIGHT on time. The music bingo starts RIGHT after dinner.” Linda turned LEFT toward the bar, then RIGHT back again, because the line was already out the door.
The bingo started RIGHT away. “Last Christmas” came on and everyone sang it RIGHT, except Dave, who LEFT out the whole chorus and sang the verse twice. Linda had two squares LEFT. Then “Feliz Navidad” played, and she yelled “BINGO!” RIGHT as the boss was LEFT holding a cookie halfway to his mouth.
Her prize? The gift on her LEFT. Was it the RIGHT one? Nobody knew, because it was still wrapped. Dave said she should have taken the one on the RIGHT. Linda said Dave should have learned the chorus.
There’s only one thing LEFT to say. Merry Christmas, everyone. Keep the gift you’re holding RIGHT now, unless it’s the singing fish. Then pass it LEFT.
Tip: have the reader sit out of the passing, or they’ll lose their place every time a gift lands in their lap.
3. Music bingo decides the order
Your white elephant number decides a lot. The last number is the best seat in the house, because you can steal anything that’s been opened. So make people earn it.
Before the swap, play a quick round of Christmas music bingo. The first person to call bingo gets the last number. Second bingo gets the second to last, and so on. Everyone without a bingo draws from the hat for the remaining numbers. Then run white elephant as normal. Suddenly everybody cares whether that’s “Jingle Bell Rock” or “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”.
House rule we love: a false bingo call earns you number 1, plus the gift nobody wants, if your group has one.
Setting it up takes about ten minutes: pick our 40-song Christmas playlist or paste any public Spotify playlist, make the cards on our Christmas music bingo page, then print them or play on phones. Up to 10 printed cards are free. Bigger groups pay once per game, no subscription.
Best for: office parties, where everyone needs a reason to stop checking their phone.
4. Pass the parcel, grown-up edition
The classic British party game: one prize wrapped in layer after layer of paper, passed around while music plays. When the music stops, whoever’s holding it tears off one layer. Whoever rips off the last layer keeps the prize.
For adults, hide a small forfeit or a bonus in every layer: “sing the next line of the song”, “swap seats with the boss”, “take a white elephant steal”. Use the same Christmas playlist and stop it at random. The person on the music is the most powerful person in the room for ten minutes, so pick someone fair. Or someone funny.
Best for: UK and Aussie crews, and any group with one big prize instead of 20 small ones.
5. Secret Santa, but you have to guess
For groups doing a straight Secret Santa (or Kris Kringle, or Pollyanna): open the gifts one by one, and after each one, the receiver gets one guess at who bought it. Right guess, the buyer does a forfeit. Wrong guess, the receiver does. It turns the quietest part of the party, watching 20 people say “oh, thanks!”, into a game.
Best for: small offices and families who already did the name draw weeks ago.
Running a gift exchange at the office party
A few things that make the difference between “that was fun” and “never again”:
- Put the exchange after food, not before. Hungry people steal with real anger.
- Give it a fixed slot. About 30 minutes for 15 people. Past 30 people, split into two circles, or the last player waits an hour for their turn.
- Make joining optional. Someone holding the bowl, reading the story or keeping the timer is part of the game too.
- Have a plan for the leftovers. If the swap leaves a gift nobody wants, it’s a perfect booby prize for the music bingo round.
Want the rest of the night planned too? Our Christmas party games guide has 15 more games, a two-hour run sheet and ideas for big groups.
Ready to put the gifts up for grabs? Make your Christmas music bingo cards, let the bingo decide who steals last, and keep an eye on the hot sauce.
